Updated: Aug 15, 2019
There are weight loss tools, programs and foods tailored for every kind of personality type and body type. If we followed them to a T, you'd probably be really successful! There are many great plans that are balanced and amazing. But why do some of us have such a hard time keeping with it, losing weight and keeping it off, or even beginning at all? Below you might find some answers you are looking for.
So far, I have found that why we don't lose the weight is because it's emotional, not physical. It's not just about following the diet. Because if we did and kept if off, we wouldn't be here, frustrated and having low self-esteem. If we put our minds to it, no doubt success will surely follow. But, often it's your mind that prevents you. Let's dive in and see why.
When we are feeling awesome in all ways, there is nothing that can stop us. But when pain and fear happens, it feels easier to keep ourselves insulated from that pain: of rejections, judgement or even the unwanted attention we "know" will come when we are desirable in a particular way to a particular person or type of person. Sexual trauma is not a rare occurrence in the world and I'd like to focus more on that here. When we were desired and it was or felt to be inappropriate or we didn't know how to handle it, we try to avoid the being in the same situation again. When the trust has been broken and we didn't the have the survival tools to navigate with aplomb and deftness (we aren't supposed to have all the answers all the time!), a part of us remains small, contracted and fearful, or even ready to wield an imaginary mighty sword to lop off someone's head off if they so glanced in appreciation towards you. You have the death stare or cold shoulder down pat.
Once in pain, then we make rules and create a new rule book by which to live. Because we want to survive! So we perhaps dress in baggier clothing, have an extra slice of cake even though you aren't hungry, exercise less even though we might love a sport. Our brains will contort our initial experience to make the next moments survivable. It makes sense to choose avoidance as a solution, but the bad news is: your health can be affected and weight stays on your body and self-esteem may take a dive. On one hand you are safe from perceived (or real) predators, but on the other hand, your health is affected, self-esteem might remain low, and you might be emotionally separating yourself from others, and loneliness results.
As we are now adults and trying to lose weight or find a better balance point, we need to get to the root cause, get past the pain, resolve the conflicts within ourselves, know we are stronger, wiser, more capable of taking care of ourselves than we were then. Just because someone wronged you, doesn't mean you have to contort yourself any longer. Stand strong and walk your path. And once you do, and your energy has shifted from victim to centered, grounded and more powerful, vibrant person I know you are then if someone does try to mess with you, you will know what to do. Or, they will not even bother you at all.
"You stop attracting people when you heal the parts of you that once needed them."