Updated: Aug 15, 2019
ACKNOWLEDGING what happened
No doubt you have told someone, or told everyone. Maybe it went over well, or it didn’t. The response was less than thrilling. And perhaps they did support you but there is something else you need. It’s important to really find out what happened. If you are blocking it out, that’s ok. But acknowledge that something happened and that it was not ok. Acknowledge that someone outsmarted, out-maneuvered, out-weighed you. Yes. Yes, someone was stronger, in a position to take advantage. Yes.
I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry that you experienced that in this lifetime. What a pity. Breathe that acknowledgement into yourself. Know that I know what it must have been like, the others have been there in a similar situation. Understand that you are not alone.
Know that you are not weak. Someone was just stronger at that moment. It sucks, but there it is. But it doesn’t need to be that way any more. Allow yourself to imagine how you can be in the future with better resources, a better defense system (wit, humor, not being in a wrong place in a wrong time, having someone by your side). Whatever it is that you need, call for it now and let your younger self know that you survived in all the ways you have. Let him/her know that without that littler one, you can’t be here now, in the ways you are.
CARING For Yourself
Not everyone will believe you, some may say it’s your fault or hide behind some “reason” they cannot support you in the way you need. But your life is not about them. It is about you. Taking care of yourself and doing what you need to do to find peace with what happened and to make your steps forward is so important. Others might not be able to follow or acknowledge. They might HATE you for showing the truth. That is their fear, their belief system they are trying to protect. Honor that. That’s ok. It’s unfortunate, but you have to take care of your priorities and honor yourself. You will find just the right people to support you and be your friend, and not in a codependent way but in a positive balanced way.
Say to yourself: as many times as you need until it really clicks in. Don’t be surprised at some upheaval or emotions or resistance.
I have the right to exist.
I have the right to need.
I have the right to love and be loved. I have the right to make my own decisions.
I have the right to be separate and my own self.
When you can care for yourself and start to look more inward as your own greatest resource, the power you will find will be unmatched by those looking to take advantage. They won’t even bother because they know they are outmatched. You will once again expand into all crevices of yourself and begin to expand outward, shining more powerfully than before.