Tony Robbins. An amazing motivational speaker, but an unfortunate communication breakdown resulted last week that has the internet a buzz. I’m sure you heard or read about it. If you haven’t, let me fill you in on what I have learned and watched. Well, Tony challenged the female who spoke out about #metoo and I don’t think it went as he had hoped. (We are all learning here! Me included.) It made many people angry and very upset. Why? Because he challenged their experience and they didn’t care for it. And when one is triggered, then it has been my experience there are some juicy emotions that could use some flushing out.
It’s unfortunate it happened in the way it did, yet I think it’s a springboard to analyze what is going on, what people’s true intentions are with their own growth and being honest with themselves, to move beyond their victim/perpetrator roles.
What I think he was trying to say was that staying in the victim/perpetrator dynamic, you will never move beyond and step into your own power. If you are still under someone else’s power, which ultimately is a fallacy, then you will never find peace. But the thing is, there are some steps to get there. It’s quite difficult to just jump from one place to another and tada! You’ve got the whole pain thing licked.
Imagine if he said (or someone else you are looking to for support and guidance):
“Shit happens, but you don’t have to suffer any longer. When you remain in the victim persona, then you don’t have control over your life and you can’t steer your own ship, you are at the whim of everyone else. You are in a contracted, fearful state. Is that where you want to be? If not, then lets move you through where you are now and into where you could be and I know you want to be. Let’s take a journey and move together through the steps of personal expansion.”
Imagine if he said:
“I acknowledge that there are a lot of people who have experienced intimidation, fear, sexual molestation and rape, women, men and children. And you had that experience, too”
“I acknowledge that there are perpetrators out there, most likely victims previously in their own ways, and that energy can perpetuate in deep and dark ways.”
“I acknowledge that it is so hard, not only during the experience, but that your mind and body are no longer the same, that you now try to make sense of it, and try to feel whole, but somehow you don’t know how to. Your mind keeps going over and over it and depression, fear and frustration are now a constant.”
“What a pity. What a pity that it happened, that you experienced something scary and terrifying.”
“I acknowledge that to move beyond it, somehow you need to step into your own power. Your past does not have to be your present.”
Imagine if he said, “For so long you felt shame, apathy, powerlessness. Some are now angry, some even feel pride about surviving. Its better than being in tragedy but these are ultimately falsehoods. They reside in ego. Peace, love, joy and acceptance live within you and have nothing to do with anybody else but yourself and your own transformation. Strive towards that and you will find your power there.”
So, how do you move through a traumatic experience? I’ll tell you, it took me years to figure that one out. Once I did, then the pieces started to fall into place. NLP was honestly the only thing that helped me. I did therapy. I did take antidepressants. They helped, but only to a point. My brain was still going over and over and over again the experience and my heart ached! And was so sad. I would cry myself to sleep so often. I was so needing validation and support and somehow, a way beyond this mess. I was a wreck. I didn’t trust people. I kept people at a distance but I craved attention and love and support, and sometimes in not the healthiest of ways. But I didn’t have a roadmap so I needed to just do things by trial and error. Once I found some things were more beneficial and wholesome, and those made me feel better at my core, I kept doing those things. I began to find more balance and then those stepping stones started being bigger and were taking me to more amazing places. To Trust, Kindness, Happiness, Ease, Elation, Giggling, Enjoyment of the little things. Balance. The trauma was no longer in my present, it was finally in my past. YES!
I will share with you the steps I took, and hopefully it will help you through your own process of finding peace and moving forward into calm, peace and then to finding your inner light and shining it outward for all to see and experience. Please see part two...